


Turnaround

by wyrmy



Series: Untitled Human AU [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Happy Ending, Healing, Internalized Fatphobia, M/M, No Dialogue, Past Abuse, Past Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens), Vignette, Wordcount: 500-1.000, fatshaming mentions, possibly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyrmy/pseuds/wyrmy
Summary: Aziraphale, recently in a relationship with his wonderful new boyfriend Crowley, reflects on a past relationship and how truly better off he is.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Untitled Human AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079183
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	Turnaround

**Author's Note:**

> the fic is about a bad relationship, but it's left fairly open whether the relationship is abusive or just bad. if you are the sort of person who might be upset by the idea of someone being deliberately shitty to their partner, this might not be a fic you would enjoy.

He had only one photograph of Gabriel, now. 

When Gabriel had kicked him out Aziraphale hadn’t had a lot of time to pack up his things. He hadn’t even noticed the photograph of them together until weeks after the breakup, when he’d finally gotten around to going through the boxes and the image of his former boyfriend had made him dissolve in floods of tears. 

It was still in the box. 

Lately, ever since he had started seeing Crowley, Aziraphale had been thinking about getting it out again, gloating perhaps at the fact that Gabriel’s dire prediction that he’d never find someone else had not come true. He felt the need to bid a metaphorical farewell. 

After dinner one night Aziraphale made himself a fortifying cup of cocoa and went to root around for the picture. He hadn’t seen it in years, possibly two or three, because as time passed he felt less and less keenly the need to think about his erstwhile partner. He remembered that the photograph had been taken at a Christmas party with Gabriel’s friends, and that he and Gabriel had been standing together and smiling. More than that he could not recall. 

When Aziraphale eventually unearthed it, under a sweater that Gabriel had deliberately bought in a size that was too small for him, he was surprised by something in the image, although he could not at first say what. 

God, he looked so young. They both did, although Gabriel had aged gracefully. Twelve years was a very long time in the human lifespan. It was a lot of time to spend alone. 

The photo had been taken right at the start of their relationship, only weeks, or even days, after Aziraphale had agreed to move in with Gabriel. What he had retroactively thought of as “the good bit” of their seven-year relationship. 

Aziraphale allowed himself a moment of self-consciousness at how plain and dumpy he looked, double chin and all. Then he turned his eye to Gabriel. Gabriel had always been an Adonis. Tall and strong, masculine and well-dressed, squared-jawed, neat-haired…. Anyone would look inadequate next to him, not least a fat and effeminate person who wore old and unflattering clothes. Gabriel seemed to glow or hover out of the frame, as if a person from the pages of a magazine had, air-brush and all, decided to briefly grace the lesser mortals at the party with his presence. 

And yet Gabriel was the source, Aziraphale concluded, of his mysterious unease with the photo. 

Aziraphale was standing in a natural way, shoulder tucked under Gabriel’s arm, his neck twisted a little to permit him to look up at his boyfriend. His other arm was wrapped around Gabriel’s waist and he gazed up at him with a warm smile. 

But Gabriel wasn’t looking back down at him, or at the camera. He was looking off into the middle distance, his face turned so that his fine facial structure was showcased. His stance, while elegant, looked strangely deliberate, as if designed to make his suit hang in an optimal way. His hand was loose on Aziraphale’s shoulder, not really holding on. Aziraphale had long suspected that Gabriel had never been very much emotionally invested in their relationship- a certain coldness had seeped in when it was still very fresh, after all- but the evidence now, with the wisdom afforded by distance, was overwhelming. 

Gabriel had been posing for a photograph with his new boyfriend, who was gazing up at him with genuine love in his eyes, and Gabriel had looked past him. Gabriel had been thinking only about his own good looks. 

What a twat, thought Aziraphale. What an unmitigated fool, to be given such affection and not even deign to notice. Truly, he was well shot of Gabriel. 

He felt a momentary sliver of self-recrimination that he had allowed himself to be manipulated in such a way. And then he very deliberately forgave himself. It’s not wrong to want to be loved, he thought. 

Goodbye Gabriel, you total waste of space. I will endeavor never to think about you again. 

Well… 

His initial reaction was to take the photo out of its frame and burn it. But perhaps it might be nice to show it to Crowley, who would doubtless be surprised by how young he looked etc., and who he might be able to have a laugh with over what a stuck-up idiot his ex was. 

Over how Gabriel had never deserved him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos. it always makes my day.  
> I'm working on the next story in my other series, but its going to be a long one so it's taking a while. I'm also working on two multichapter fics which I'd like to get done before I start posting them.


End file.
